Emotional Quotient or we usually called Emotional Intelligence is
…ability to engage in sophisticated information processing about one’s own and others’ emotions and the ability to use this information as a guide to thinking and behaviour. That is, individuals high in emotional intelligence pay attention to, use, understand, and manage emotions, and these skills serve adaptive functions that potentially benefit themselves and othersProfessors Peter Salovey of Yale University and John D. Mayer of the University of New Hampshire
It focused on the individual’s ability to process emotional information and use it to navigate the social environment. It’s about how to react.
It is different from emotional feelings we had. The emotional feelings called emphaty; one of EQ’s component. EQ includes four types of abilities : to recognize emotions; to harness and apply your emotions; understanding emotions, and to manage your emotions and those of the people close to you (source from here and here).
There are five categories skills under EQ and it can obtained by worked on those four types of abilities above ; you need it to develop your EQ :
Self awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your emotion. You must able to monitoring your emotion, recognizing different emotional reactions, and then correctly identifying each particular emotion. Self-aware individuals also recognize the relationships between the things they feel and how they behave. If you have good self awareness you will have good self confidence, good sense of humor, and aware of how other people perceive them.
Self regulation is the ability to control over emotion and recognize the impulse. It’s not meaning to supress, lock down, or hiding true feelings but it’s about expressing emotions appropriatelly. People who have a good self regulation are thoughtful of how they influence others and take responsibility for their own actions. Some common practices advocated by mindset coaches are mediation and deep breathing exercises.
Empathy, or the ability to understand how others are feeling, is absolutely critical to emotional intelligence. But this involves more than just being able to recognize the emotional states of others. When you sense that someone is feeling sad or hopeless, for example, it will likely influence how you respond to that individual. You might treat them with extra care and concern or you might make an effort to buoy their spirits. People need to temporarily put their opinions aside and try to see things from another person’s perspective. Practice tolerance and keep an open mind that focuses on building relationships, instead of proving yourself right to get your way. Being empathetic also allows people to understand the power dynamics that often influence social relationships, especially in workplace settings. Those competent in this area are able to sense who possess power in different relationships, understand how these forces influence feelings and behaviors, and accurately interpret different situations that hinge on such power dynamics.
People who are emotionally intelligent are motivated by things beyond mere external rewards like fame, money, recognition, and acclaim. They strive to improve by setting concrete goals. They have a passion to fulfill their own inner needs and goals. They seek things that lead to internal rewards, experience flow from being totally in tune with an activity, and pursue peak experiences. An emotionally intelligent person is capable of motivating himself. Those who are competent in this area tend to be action-oriented and are always looking for ways to do better. They also tend to be very committed and are good at taking the initiative when a task is put forth before them.
Being able to interact well with others is another important aspect of emotional intelligence. True emotional understanding involves more than just understanding your own emotions and the feelings of others – you also need to be able to put this information to work in your daily interactions and communications. This is perhaps the broadest category of emotional intelligence. Listen before you communicate. Hear the words and the emotions behind what was communicated to you, then respond with honesty and sensitivity. Treat everyone with compassion to build trust. In professional settings, managers benefit by being able to build relationships and connections with employees, while workers can benefit from being able to develop a strong rapport with leaders and co-workers. Some important social skills include active listening, verbal and non verbal communication skills, leadership, and persuasiveness.
Some say, EQ is not really important than IQ in the beginning phase of human (kids). That is very wrong.
Do you ever meet someone who “think” they are success and brag about themselves too much? They don’t have enough EQ ; their self-awareness is too low, they don’t have self-regulation, bad social skill and bad emphaty. Low self-awareness? But they are so confident. Confidence doesn’t have similar meaning with bragging. Confidence measured by how familiar them with their strenght, and how lasts their motivation and action affected them in life. Arrogant people have low self-awareness ; similar to people with low self esteem, because they misreading themselves. It affected the rest of EQ ‘s categories skill and also to all IQ they have. It will affect their their AQ skill also, they couldn’t control and handle their emotion to make some problem solving -will write about it later.
There’s a lot of people supressed, denied, or hiding their emotion too, it made them grew up with low self-regulation because they didn’t know how to handle emotion. Again, it will affected the rest of EQ’s skill categories and their IQ.
Knew grown up people who’s very smart when they’re a little kid, their IQ was very high? But, have a miserable life today?
Yes. It’s because they don’t have (and don’t want to work on) EQ’s.
Perhaps, they tend to supressed their emotion, made them had lack of emphaty, also attached by lots of problems which they made. They appeared to be smart but have an egoistic manners. Success? 50:50 in work, but not really in life. Their IQ will not develop to their maximal if they don’t develop their EQ. It will stuck.
But, if they really developed their IQ (somehow) without good developed EQ, their mental will be suffered.
to be continued . . .
next session : Adversity Quotient / Adversity Intelligence